Is it better to be selfish or selfless?
Obviously a balance of the two is ideal but if you had to choose one, which would you prefer?

With an ex of mine I was rather selfless throughout the whole relationship and every time I tried to get out of the relationship he accused me of being selfish and insensitive towards his feelings. Looking back, I was a fool to give in to such a sad argument. That relationship was in no way beneficial or healthy for me and so I finally cut all ties.

After that relationship I realized that regardless of whether or not leaving him for my own benefit was selfish, sometimes you have to do things for yourself. That realization made me want to be more assertive, independent, an overall stronger individual. I told myself I'd never be taken advantage of, I will be the last person to be walked all over.

But now I'm starting to question my current situation. I have a friend- not just any friend. A best friend forever and ever, the type you spend a majority of your time with, have friendship bracelets with, and become her dogs' godmother. I'm a bit more introvert and I'm not a natural leader type so I was always seen as her sidekick. We decide what we're going to do depending on what she wants/needs to do. Our subjects revolve around her interests and what she wants to gossip about. When we go shopping somehow I end up carrying her stuff as well as my own. We have a lot of arguments in which we don't talk for a long period of time.
Last time we didn't talk for about 8 months because I started spending more time with her older brother. This was the peak of my WoW phase and he was one of the guys I always played with. She was very offended. Most of the time I think girls take the idea of "best friends" VERY seriously. Guys can have multiple best/close friends but a girl has one girlfriend that is above all the others.
The time before that she cheated on her boyfriend and I knew about it but didn't rat her out to him. He found out, decided the only way he could stay with her was if she agreed to not talk to me anymore. She was quick to give me up, the same day he found out she started ignoring me. That lasted a little over a year. This situation was probably the most hurtful to me.

So why do I stay friends with her? Because at the end of the day regardless of any stupid fights we may or may not have she will be there for me. No matter how angry she makes me, if she calls crying I will be there to listen.

I understand that sometimes you need to put yourself first but would a relationship/friendship work out as well if you were both selfish? If she were just as withdrawn, indecisive, etc. as me, would we really last as friends? If I were just as demanding and uncompromising as her, would there be any hope?

As January 1st was quickly approaching I kept thinking about what I had done the year before. The cute bank teller that I've been chit chatting with once a week for the past couple of months finally asked for my number and asked me to go out with him and his friends. I got my kiss, I drank, danced tons, and by the time I got home the sun started coming up. Oh my, he was a cute one.

What's my point? Well, I started thinking about the New Year's Eve before that and I could not figure out what I had done. I remembered three, four years prior, but not that specific year. Of course, I got that itch and it took a couple of days for it to come back to me.

December 31, 2006 - I was a couple months out of my "bad relationship" and had started dating a guy introduced to me by a dorm mate. The ex-boyfriend's little sister called me and asked me to take her to the mall, so I picked her up and ran into him. I had ignored him, his text messages, his e-mails, and even his late night drive bys, and now there he was. Was he bitter? How do I approach the situation? It was actually a lot friendlier than I had expected, and soon he became too friendly. I told him I was dating someone else and then came the questions and he took it well until he asked whether or not we've kissed, slept with one another, etc. I answered truthfully and it led to a series of events that seems movie-esque to me.

I'll spare you the details but it ended with him arrested for kidnapping and battery.
No wonder I couldn't remember.

Remember girls, you want boys that want to share their life with you, not make you their life.
Of course, my mother told me that but I learn the hard way  .